


Sleepless

by ninjawrites



Series: Gentron: Legendary Friendships 2019 [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, Bonding, Brother-Sister Relationships, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, One Shot, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Slight Mention of Blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 17:05:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19468342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjawrites/pseuds/ninjawrites
Summary: Gentron Prompt Day 1: Forehead KissesPidge deals with her insecurities about being the smallest on the team, until anxiety starts to get the best of her. However, Shiro won't let his family go through something like that alone.





	Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> Haha, self projecting? Who me?
> 
> I wanted to portray Pidge's inner thoughts in a light that I feel like we don't often see. Set in early season 1 before Pidge's reveal, though don't try to think about it too much. Hope you enjoy!

Pidge jumped side to side, attempting to evade the massive Galra's blade as he swung down hard, but the floor beneath her feet felt like mud. With every additional step, her steps began to lag, feet feeling heavier and heavier.

The blade brushed past her nose by a fraction of an inch, landing heavily into the floor. It was too close of a call. She had to move quickly, had to beat this thing before it reached the others. Pidge's breaths were ragged, severely lacking the amount of oxygen needed for this encounter.

She dove forward, trying to catch the beast off guard with the strongest strikes she could muster. However, the large Galra only laughed as each one of them landed, and the muscles in her arms and legs feet like putty.

She wasn't strong enough, she had to be stronger.

Her bayard materialized in her hand, and she sliced its razored edge along the Galra's armor, though it left no mark or sparks in its wake. Instead, it simply shattered in her grasp.

Panic surged through her. This wasn't right. Nothing was working, nothing she could do was enough.

She shrieked as the Galra caught her by the neck and lifted her to eye level. She scratched at the fist clenching her throat that cut off her air, arms and legs swinging to no avail. She could not land a single blow.

"Pathetic." The Galra snarled, eyes glowing a horrid neon yellow. "You're too weak to be a paladin."

Then he squeezed.

* * *

Pidge gasped as she shot upright, hands flying to her throat where the Galra's hand had been. She opened her eyes wide, her chest heaving as the lights to her bedroom in the castle gently faded on.

It was just a nightmare.

Her hands gripped into the sheets, steadying her breaths and grounding her back into reality. She pulled back the sweaty sheets and let her legs hang over the side as she ran her hands over her face.

"It was just a dream." She whispered to herself in an attempt to calm her nerves. Nothing was wrong. She was in the castle, safe in her own room. The fight with that monstrous Galra wasn't real.

Except that the war was real.

She slid out of bed, pajama shirt reaching low over her knees. In her still groggy state, she had the urge to find Matt and crawl in besides him in bed. However, it only took a few seconds to snap back into reality once again.

Matt wasn't here.

He was gone, and so was her dad.

She grumbled and rubbed her eyes, looking for her glasses, though wearing them was more for comfort than for necessity. She wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight, but that's okay, she never really did. She was used to it.

She grabbed for her laptop, ready to distract herself from the nightmare with a few lines of code, until her eyes locked onto the green bayard she kept close on her nightstand.

_Not strong enough. ___

____

__

With a determined huff she set her laptop back down, got herself dressed then left the room, bayard in hand.

She had to get stronger.

* * *

Pidge battled with the gladiator, countering each blow with her bayard and winning with a decisive shot of her grappling hook to the robot's head. As the solid hologram dissolved (she had yet to figure out how it did that) she retracted the hook slowly, shaking off the memory of it shattering between her fingertips.

She set it aside, deciding instead to practice basic strikes on the punching bag that stood in the corner of the training deck. She centered herself in front of it, striking fast and hard, her knuckles absorbing the shock of each blow.

Losing track of time, she kept punching at the impossibly dense target. It wobbled back slightly each time, set to absorb impact while keeping stable on the ground. Keith and Lance could easily knock it twice as far with a single fist, Shiro and Hunk, even farther. Allura, well, she apparently had alien super-strength so that wasn't fair to compare too, but nonetheless, all of their strikes echoed throughout the gym much louder than any of hers were able to.

Pidge put more force into each punch, hitting harder and harder, until they became frantic. She didn't realize tears had begun to well up in her eyes until exhaustion finally won out, and she leaned forward breathless against the bag.

"Did the bag do something to offend you?"

She startled at the familiar voice, quickly wiping her eyes with her sleeve before turning to see Shiro leaning against the open doorway. He looked strangely casual in his tank top and sweats, the concern in his face reminding her of when her brother would catch her on the roof on her laptop during the dead hours of the night.

"Oh, no, I'm just...blowing off some steam."

"At four in the morning?" He stepped into the training room.

"Couldn't sleep" is all she said, turning back towards the bag. She debated starting to work it again, until she noticed the pain emanating through her fingertips. She winced slightly as she flexed her knuckles, turning them over to see the broken and bloody skin.

"Katie, are you sure you're alright?" Shiro asked, and she turned quickly, hiding her hands behind her back. "Usually I find you on your laptop or---" He froze, eyes flickering over her shoulder. She followed his line of sight to see the punching bag, smeared with some of the blood from her knuckles. She let out a shaky breath, turning to meet Shiro's worry filled eyes.

"Pidge, what..." He trailed off, kneeling in front of her. At that moment she hated how small it made her feel; she was sixteen for god sakes she wasn't a child. But the sheer hurt she could see in Shiro's eyes made her suddenly feel guilty, as he opened his hands out to her. "Let me see."

She hesitated, before moving her hands in front of her to show the gnarled mess they'd become.

"What were you doing?" He turned her hands gently to examine them.

"I just got a bit carried away, is all.” She tried changing the subject. “What are you doing awake?”

Shiro avoided eye contact, and she already knew his answer.

“Nightmares again?” She offered. It was no secret that Shiro had been dealing with his trauma privately, often times wandering the castle at night. War changes the psyche of its fighters. She’d only been a paladin for a short time and it was already taking its toll on her.

He nodded. “Nothing I can’t handle.” He said, but Pidge could hear the lie. “You on the other hand, need to get these cleaned up.” He stood, placing a hand on her shoulder, gently guiding her out of the training room towards the med-bay. She followed reluctantly but figured a distraction like this would be good for Shiro.

Once in the med bay, she sat down, watching as Shiro fumbled through various drawers, unsure of where certain supplies were located. Once he finally found the antiseptic and bandages, he sat beside her and gestured for her hand. She reached out, wincing when he began to clean the blood from her hands.

“Sorry.” He pulled back, before starting again gently. “Can I ask what this is about?”

Pidge blew a stray hair out of her face. “Just, trying to keep my skills sharp.”

Shiro quirked an eyebrow. “We train every day. Do you feel like your skills aren’t sharp?”

She winced as he started with the bandages, wrapping the strip of cloth in a pattern he seemed to know by heart.

“You’re fast, easily the most agile on the team.” He said.

“I just feel like I need to bulk up a bit.”

He started on the other hand. “Bulk up? I mean sure, if you want to but, I doubt beating your fists to a pulp is the best the way to do it. Trust me, I know.” He began to wrap her other hand. “But I feel like it’s more than that.” He placed both her hands gently on the table, turning to her, his eyes open and warm. “Are you worried about your cover?”

She shook her head. “No, no actually, it’s not because of that.” While Shiro was the only one who knew she was a girl, she was pretty sure the rest of the team had some inkling, or wouldn’t care if they found out. Except Lance, maybe, he seemed like the oblivious type. Either way, that wasn’t what worried her. “I-I’ve been having nightmares.”

“I see.” He leaned forward, his face questioning, but soft. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She wasn’t so sure. What would she say, that she felt small and weak? Like she couldn’t pull her weight on the team, or even manage to find her brother and father? She debated saying no, only to remember this was Shiro. If anyone would be able to understand what she was going through, it was him.

“Only if you tell me about yours.”

Shiro smiled, handing is head in defeat. “Well played.” He stood up and stretched, yawning just as he started to speak. “Should we…sit down somewhere more comfortable?”

She smiled and nodded, sliding off her own chair. “We could try the lounge, or the kitchen. Hunk managed to find some spice in the cabinets yesterday that’s the Altean equivalent of cocoa…if you wanted to have some with me.”

Shiro gave a warm chuckle. “Sounds good. I could use some comfort food.”

They sat on the couch in the lounge, Pidge sitting cross legged with a blanket over her shoulders, holding her warm mug up to her face, clouding her glasses. Shiro sat forward, elbows on his knees, holding his own mug in both hands. For a second Pidge wondered if his prosthetic hand could be useful for warming the mug should it get cold, but once Shiro began speaking, she shifted her focus.

“It’s often the same scenario. I’m back in the prison, fighting...who knows what kind of monster...but I’m protecting either Matt, or Sam, or both.” He stared at the liquid in his mug. “I look back and they’re taking them away, but I can’t get to them. I’m fighting, and I’m punching and screaming my lungs out but-“ his words seemed to get stuck in his throat.

“It’s not enough.” Pidge finished for him.

“Yeah.” He ran his mechanical hand through his hair. “Coran thinks it’s a sort of survivors guilt, and I think he’s right. I blame myself for not being able to protect them...”

“It’s not your fault.” Pidge reached a hand to grasp his shoulder. “I know I yelled at you before, but that was just me trying to find someone to blame, anyone within reach. I was wrong to do that, and I’m sorry if I made you feel worse.” She hesitated. “I’m sorry if my being here just reminds you of that.”

His face saddened. “No, don’t you dare be sorry. I don’t blame you at all.” He waited until she looked up, meeting his eyes. “To be honest, having you here reminds me of how much they were like family to me. You have such determination and strength, that there’s no way we won’t find them.”

She twiddled her thumbs, looking back down into her drink. “It doesn’t feel that way.” She took a deep breath. “My nightmare was similar, except, I was protecting you guys.” She tried piecing together the frayed bits and pieces of her dream, now that she had been awake for so long. But the same sickening feeling in her gut remained. “I was fighting this Galra, but my limbs felt like putty, and no matter how hard I hit him it, nothing would work and the punches just bounced off and...then…he grabbed me-“ Her voice choked, and she subconsciously lifted a hand to her neck, her eyes starting to brim with tears.

“Ssh, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Shiro set his drink down and reached his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. He set his chin on top of her head as she hiccupped, gently stroking her hair. “It was just a dream, you’re safe. We’re all safe.”

She heard him mumble something to himself about children and soldiers, but she was too occupied to care. She sniffled, letting her head rest on his chest. She hadn’t realized how much she needed this. Hunks hugs were great, always making her feel warm and happy, but she hadn’t known him too long. This on the other hand, this was family.

Shiro was family.

She pulled back, wiping her tears with the back of her wrist. “Thank you.” She mumbled, pushing her glasses to the top of her head.

“Is that what’s bothering you? Why you were working at the bag so hard?”

She took a shaky breath. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You know, you’re a fantastic fighter. I’ve never seen someone take to a weapon so easily as you.”

“I know, but-“

“But nothing. You are stronger than you think and even then, you have us to back you up.” He ruffled her hair, leaving her with a smile. “Don’t think you have to fight the entire Galra Empire on your own.” He snickered. “You’re not Keith.”

She held back a snort, almost spilling the drink in her hand. She looked up at him with a smile, wiping the last of her tears from her cheek with her sleeve. “Thanks, Shiro. I know. I’m- I’m learning that.”

He grabbed his cocoa and sat back, arm over the back of the couch. “If you wanted, I learned a few tricks in the arena about using your opponent’s size against them.” He glanced down at her knuckles. “We can plan some strength training sessions too with the team…if you’re still interested.”

“Really?” Her eyes brightened. “Are you sure you have time?”

“Of course.” Shiro said. “I’ll make time.”

Pidge set down her drink and hugged him again, this time holding tight and staying. She let out a long-winded yawn.

“I think you should be getting some sleep.”

She shook her head, her voice muffled into his shirt. “-on’t wan- oo.”

“Do you want me to stay here?”

She nodded and proceeded to pull the blanket tighter around her shoulders. She nuzzled into his side, laying her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes, letting the dreary sensation of sleep wash over her.

He laughed slightly, setting a light kiss on her sleepy forehead, before slipping her glasses off her head, setting them aside and leaning back onto the couch to close his eyes.

When the others discovered them in the morning, not one of them had the heart to wake them.


End file.
